Every year it’s the same thing. I say I’m never going to watch the Academy Awards again. It’s not because I hate the host – it could be anybody, really, because I’m interested in the stars and what they say, as well as the clips of all the films I haven’t yet seen – and it’s not because the wrong film got such and such award. It’s because the people around me at the Oscar party I’ve been invited to can’t just watch the damned thing. They talk through the presenter and then ask what award is being presented, who won, what movie, who’s that, what did they say? It’s so predictable and so annoying. Every time it happens – and I swear it was at least a dozen times last night – I want to say, “If you’d just shut the fuck up you’d know, wouldn’t you?!”

So why don’t I just watch them at home, by myself? The irony is that I don’t have network or cable television – I only own a tv to watch movies, which I love!

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